Vader loves Christmas!!

Auld Lang Syne

Another year about to go... I can't say I'll be sad to see the back of 2005, and have higher hopes for 2006. But there were good things about this year which I'll be glad to bring with me into the next.

Mike got me the Duran Duran Live From London DVD/CD set, which I'm happily blaring right now. Alex is happily crashing his Spiderman car into the wall unit, scattering the french fries from his Spongebob Kitchen all over the living room. Mike and I have almost gotten through the first season of Lost on DVD, so I can catch up to Season 2 in reruns. Will is with my mom, no doubt climbing the walls and demanding her to join him. Life is quiet, but good.

Helene sent me a birthday gift today, a nice long letter (we've been promising each other one for ages and, in a telepathic moment, sent each other one within days of one another), a Hello Kitty notepad with stickers, a CD, and a map of my favorite place in the world, Gamla Stan. It was a great way to start the end of one year and the beginning of a new one, curled up on the couch reading an actual handwritten letter from an old friend. I hope to have more of that in the new year. It made me think about how I'd race to the mailbox every day when I was in high school to look for a letter, and how I still do it now. We'd put pictures of Duran Duran all over the letters, stickers, you name it - anything within reach of our glue and looseleaf binders. Letters were a multi-sensory experience with us.

Now that I've got a printer, I think it's time to bust out my glue stick and scissors and write another letter. :-)

Happy New Year, everyone. And let's hope 2006 is a good one.

MTA on Strike...

So the MTA is on strike. Mike and I are pretty much split in our opinions. He supports the strike because he feels the MTA wanted to take benefits away. I have to be honest, I have very mixed feelings about the MTA and striking, to me, does not garner the public sympathy vote. By striking, you are pissing off a lot of people. And asking for the Mayor to come down on you, because it's illegal to do so in NYC.

Then you have the genius corporate reaction to the strike. For instance, my mom had to leave her home at 4:30 this morning. She walked from Port Authority to 14th & 7th to be at work by 6:30. Her company figured that in the event of a strike, when everyone is going to have trouble getting into NYC to begin with, why not start the day at 6:30 so they can be magnanimous and let 'em out at 3. Anyone who didn't show up to work today will not be paid. Does the MTA regret that inconvenience? Will the TWU reimburse these people?

Watching news this morning, Good Day New York had a message from the MTA on their crawl: "We regret the inconvenience." Are they fricking kidding me? They offer the same lame excuse they give to us when we're stuck in a tunnel for 45 minutes because of an imaginary sick passenger or red signal to explain the inconvenience to millions of people who have to travel on foot in freezing temperatures?

My dad is a union man. Many of my friends are union. But this is one strike I just can't get behind because of so many factors.

It's official... sorta.

I'll be 35 tomorrow. Good God.

Mike threw me a Hello Kitty party this weekend - it started as a joke a couple of years ago, when I saw that Hello Kitty stuff was all over the place. Having been a huge fan of Hello Kitty back in the day, I griped that there was no fun Hello Kitty party stuff when I was a kid, and that Mike should throw me a Hello Kitty part when I turned 35. He took me up on it.

It was a blast - I have the greatest friends. I got a Hello Kitty CD/cassette player, Pez dispensers aplenty, slippers, bath sets - the works. Thanks to all of you. I love all of you.

Words can't describe this past year. It's been pretty rough, and I'm really not going to be all that broken up to see it go, but at the same time, there have been some great moments that I'd never trade. Aside from my kids and husband and the daily laughs that go with them, I've reconnected with some friends and gotten closer to others, and made some new ones. I saw Duran Duran twice (whoo hoo!) with my best friend from high school, and we acted like crazed 15 year olds all over again. Got to go to a wedding in Michigan that turned into a much-needed vacation and all-around great time. Read a lot of good books and some really horrible ones that I at least got a laugh out of.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad year after all.

So let me ask - I saw a template for a holiday family newsletter which of course, I downloaded. How cheesy would this be? I'm thinking of doing a quick 'n dirty one for the family I don't get to see too often. Would it be cringeworthy or cute? Let me know what you think.

Aw, crap. My printer heads need readjusting or something again, the picture I printed out just came out with lines again. Grr. Let me go call Mike, he handles this foolishness.

Christmas Approacheth...

Christmas comes but once a year. Thank god. I used to love Christmas. I was a total freak for it. And honestly, since I have two wee ones, I still do love Christmas but for different reasons. I honestly couldn't care about getting gifts. I mean, I do appreciate what I get, but there is nothing that beats seeing my boys race into the living room and scream when they see that Santa's been there. I love Christmas Eve, when Will goes through the motions of leaving Santa cookies and milk, and a sweet picture for him to take back to the North Pole.

Even as a kid, I always loved Christmas Day because our family would gather together. It means so much, then and now, to be surrounded by our families.

I just wish that Christmas didn't become this slickly-produced, overmechandised, overlicensed monster that it's grown into. Yeah, Christmas was always in our faces when we were kids, but the merchandisers had the decency to wait until after Thanksgiving, giving us a timeline for excitement. Now? Target had back to school stuff out (starting in JULY, for chrissakes - can the kids enjoy being out of school?) in September in one aisle, and CHRISTMAS gear in the next. In SEPTEMBER. What the hell? I could buy my kids' marble notebooks in one aisle, stop off and pick up some Halloween decorations in the next, and grab some Christmas lights on my way out.

I just feel like everything is being rushed, shoved down our throats, buy buy buy now. Doesn't time pass us by quickly enough without having the end of the year shoved at us in September? I want to enjoy each day with my kids, I want to make the most of every day with my husband, my family, I don't want to blink and have to be stringing lights on my tree. I think that's another reason people are so stressed out lately. There's no time, at least that's what we're being led to believe nowadays. We've got to slow down the pace.

Next project...

Since the Star Wars pillowcases I made for Will turned out so well last time, I decided to make another set. I found this great Star Wars fabric in Rag Shop that is crying out for more pillowcases! On one side, we have Yoda...

...and the other side, Lord Vader.

Labor of love... and frustration

Here is the sweater-in-progress... stuff looks so bleah when it's not blocked. Eventually, I'll get the right front done and then you'll just have to read as I piss and moan about the i-cord.

RED FUZZY SCARF!

How much fun is this? If you look closely, you can see a thin vein of blue/pink running through the yarn. It's a fuzzy novelty yarn (I have to look up the label, I think it's Berroco) that has a Matrix-type ribbon yarn included in the skein. So much fun to work with. I did the scarf with a #10 needle in a k2, p2 pattern, which really allowed the ribbon yarn to shine through nicely.

Santa's Workshop...

Humming along over here. I was at Will's school all morning helping to decorate their lobby, which was fun. I left a little early, but I had to run some errands. They'll get me tomorrow. :-)

Here is the baby blanket in progress for my niece-to-be. Actually, I was commissioned by my mom to do this one; I'll have stuff of my own in the making. It's not easily noticeable from the picture, but half the blanket is being done in stockinette stitch, half in garter, with a garter stitch border. The yarn is Patons Be Mine, which is a nice, soft novelty yarn.

More pictures coming...

Tree's Up!

Going on four weeks into my extended vacation from 9-5, my apartment is getting cleaner (although not necessarily tidier) and I'm cooking and baking with a vengeance. Gotta say, not really missing the rat race.

Knitting up a storm - working on that #*@#& sweater still, and on a baby blanket for my niece-to-be. I'm using a sweet baby novelty yarn from Patons, Be Mine, that was a little tough going at first, but once I got needle size worked out, it's been fine. I'm using the "Big Bad Baby Blanket" pattern from Stitch & Bitch as my inspiration - I've used it in the past with fun results depending on the yarn I use. I even managed to get one fuzzy scarf down so far! Next step is reacquaint myself with that sewing machine.

Madonna!!!

Mike surprised me with the new Madonna CD today - it is awesome! I'm sitting here blaring it as I type, which appears to be distressing my husband to no end. Each song is great, but I could do without her voiceover commentary on "Future Lovers" and okay, some of the lines on "I Love New York are hokey ("I don't like cities, but I like New York, other places make me feel like a dork" - WTF?). Say what they will about her, but she's managed to successfully adapt to changing music tastes.

Furiously logging books into LibraryThing.com. I am completely and utterly addicted to this site. I feel like running out to buy more books so I can log them in.

Have to make cornbread tonight for Will's classroom Thanksgiving Day party tomorrow. I'll enlist his help, since he really enjoys cooking. I'll probaby boil up the potatoes for the potato salad tonight too, and make it tomorrow so it has enough time to chill for the recipe. I'm trying a Kraft Kitchen Beta Recipe Makeover of a potato salad (made with light ingredients now). If it works, maybe I'll bring that to Linda's holiday gala event. I'm wondering if I should make my cranberry walnut stuffing since Linda's making a stuffing - Lin, if you are reading this, let me know what you think? I'm also making a butternut squash & apples recipe (finally!) for Thanksgiving - again, if successful, maybe I'll tote that to the Sheridan extravaganza.

Knitting up a storm - finished the left front to the wrap sweater that I ripped out a week or so ago. Lots of fuzzy yarn in the basket for scarves. Still have to get that #(@#&@ yarn for Elizabeth's blanket; I have 17 squares waiting to be sewn together.

Have to try and work on Stacey's wedding CDs - I'll try and pull some pictures off Snapfish today after I finish my latest reader report.

LibraryThing!!

This is the coolest thing. Lauren turned me onto http://www.librarything.com, where you can keep track of all your books. I have been trying to get this project started for years, and now it's a reality. I actually sniffled with joy (and allergies - lots of cleaning going on here) as I logged in the shelf I'm sitting across from. And the fact that I can have random books featured on the blog is awesome. This rocks, all around.

I'm in Will's school so much that if it were a tuition-based school, I'd be asking for a freebie. I think I need a break from being a good citizen.

Holy cow...

Being home for two weeks, I find I have less free time than I did when I was working! I'm helping out at the school a lot and getting work around the house done finally.

Had a good interview with a direct marketing temp agency yesterday. Hopefully they'll have something for me. Liked the setup.

Last night of school for the semester tonight. I'm a little sad, I really enjoyed the class and being back in school. I'm scoping out classes for next semester; there are a few I really like but I want to wait and see what the whole money situation is before I register. A little nerve-wracking, but have to sit tight and see.

I'm drinking my 8 glasses of water a day - good God, I haven't run to the bathroom this much since I was pregnant - and feeling good about getting one more aspect of healthy behavior back on track. I did dive into the Halloween stash again yesterday; I am helpless to the siren song of Reese's Peanut Butter cups. Must... resist... candy...

All right, I need to ponder lunch, straighten up the kids' room, and head back to 139 - I promised to help out with student of the month pictures. :-)

I've survived...

...Will's sleepover. We had a great night, visiting with Will's friend's parents, having dinner and coming home. Will came home this morning, thrilled at having slept over a friend's house and no, he didn't miss me in the slightest. For some reason, I was relieved rather than crushed.

Went on a Halloween candy binge tonight. Granted, a binge now consists of about 4 pieces rather than the old half a garbage bag, but still... have to keep on track. I know it will get better; it's just one day. I did some yoga this morning, want to do some more tonight. I've been working out twice a day for the past two and a half days (I say half because I did work out once today). I've read that you have to do something for 30 days in a row for it to become a habit. So only 27 1/2 more to go... now if I could just journal for an entire day, I'd be on my way!

Back to the sweater. I ripped out the left front entirely; it is unbelievable how getting a few weeks' distance from something helps you read it correctly when you go back to it. So hopefully the third time's the charm and I can get this piece done in another week or so.

I have so much fuzzy yarn, I've got to start finding something to do with it.

But for now, I think I'm off to brew a cup of tea and have a biscotti.

Good God.

Halloween candy is just wrong. I've just snarfed a Baby Ruth (mini, thankfully) and a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

Will is having his very first non-family sleepover tonight. My baby is growing up. I find myself seeking out his baby pictures to try and remember when he was so small, to try and hold onto a time that's passed. It's so strange now, sometimes, to be working on a report for school with him or to tuck him into a bunk bed for his night's sleep. To have him be the one to read to me.

Every stage is so precious, I think in part because it goes so quickly. But the nice part is that some of it sticks. He loves to read Frog & Toad - especially "Shivers". The 2 1/2 year old who struck the floor in front of me with a broomstick and hollered, "Mommy - you shall not pass!" still watches the Lord of the Rings movies with me - he cheers on the Balrog. He likes the new Star Wars trilogy, I prefer the original Holy Trilogy, but we both agree that Darth Vader is awesome.

I'm enjoying every second with him, and now that I realize how quickly it goes, I'm taking full advantage of my time with Alex. He's already a Star Wars fan, courtesy of his brother and mother. Chewbacca and Yoda are his favorites; for a while, Darth Vader was apparently responsible for anything that went wrong in our household. He loves being read to - which is a good thing; his entire immediate and extended family is made up of rabid bookworms. His imagination is already a force to be reckoned with (he was the one who exclaimed, "Darth Vader broke my highchair!" out of nowhere one evening).

It all goes so fast. But I'm going to just enjoy the ride. And enjoy the Halloween candy that seems to come with the price of admission. :-)

Holidays Are A-Comin'!

So we're already finished with the second week of November - how in the world did that happen? Start your Christmas shopping yet? I did, but anyone who knows me knows that my loathing of crowds is legendary, so it was really an act of self-preservation, especially since the lion's share of my holiday shopping is for children under the age of 10.

Since we're extremely financially savvy right now (like the way that sounds, right?), any grown-up gifts will probably be home made. Make with the fuzzy scarves! You can get some fun eyelash yarn from Lion Brand for about $5 a skein; knit that with a strand of regular worsted wool (less than $2.50 for a good skein, and one skein makes the equivalent of two scarves) and you've got some fun Christmas gifts. Get yourself down to Pearl River or hit their site at http://www.pearlriver.com and get some cute Chinese take-out boxes, and you've got some fun packaging to add to the mix.

Basically, for the parents this year, I'm doing framed holiday photos of the kids. I can get nice frames from Target or Marshall's for no more than $10 each. For someone more computer-savvy, burn CDs with either some great music (the new milennium's version of the 'mix tape') or put a slide show of photos on it. I'm still working on the ones I promised my fellow bridesmaids - and the bride - from Stacey's wedding (blush).

Wow, it's 10 a.m. already. I've only had one cup of coffee - need to put on some more water. I'm definitely sticking with the individual coffee bags after the unfortunate penicillin incident from yesterday. Coffee should never come out of the pot in clumps, I don't care how old it is. I wouldn't be surprised if Gevalia showed up at my door to take my coffee carafe back after that one.

Continuing to get the boys' room together, which is getting easier now that we've gotten the bunk beds up and some storage solutions firmly in place. I may even have my living room back by Christmas. Man, do we all own a lot of books. I think I need to explore getting some shelves up on the wall. When we lived in our first apartment together in Woodside, Mike created this whole shelving situation around the living room, we had this great runner of books around us all the time. May be fun if we can do it here.

Thanksgiving - my aunt wants us in Staten Island as usual. I think I'm getting tired of it. My mom wants to know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing on a daily basis, I have to think ahead to Thanksgiving? I really liked when we hosted it at our place. It was a little cramped but nice having our family come here, and best of all, we didn't have to contend with parking.

First week home...

So this marks the end of my first week home. I've gotta say, I don't remember the last time I got this much housework done. I've managed to clean the bathroom, get the boys' bunk beds up and get most of their room back together, and clean my microwave. I also discovered that I apparently made a pot of coffee quite some time ago, and now it's a lovely strain of penicillin. There were actually gelled chunks on the bottom. Egad.

Still on program for WW, even if I did blow through all my flexpoints with three days left to go in my week. I'm journaling, which is step one for me; even if I go over points, it's not as bad as it'd be if I weren't journaling. I briefly fell under the spell of a white chocolate Reese's peanut butter cup today, but after that, I went and drank a full 4 cups of water.

Knitting - I'm so scattered, I've got to narrow myself to one project. I started a white cable knit scarf, but something was really funky with the middle cable's direction. So I ripped it out. I'm noticing that I've still left the left front of the wrap sweater lie; I've got to finish that. I need to finish a project that isn't a scarf!

There is an adorable baby bunny hat that I want to make for my friend Theresa's daughter. I have pink yarn but I have to do the damned gauge swatch - I really can't stand making them but it's kicking my arse not to do it. Especially since I just buy yarn when I fall in love with it, without necessarily choosing a project that fits the yarn. Bleah.

And then there's Elizabeth's blanket, just a few swatches short of being sewn together. Man, am I a procrastinator. Okay, we're taking the kids to get their haircuts tonight; I'll ask Mike to stop off at a Rag Shop to get another skein of yarn and get to work on that.

Man, I haven't hit Crafster in a while. Okay, okay, pictures of projects to come. Honest.

Knitty Girl Rambles

Time to get back on the knitting track again, too. I have half that wrap sweater done, and the way I've been food medicating, it'll fit a shoulder when it's finally done. I just hope I remember where I left off... Thank God it's sleeveless. Less pressure.

Lots of scarves this Christmas, I have lots of fun, fuzzy yarn. But basically since we've all agreed to just buy our kids Christmas gifts this year, I don't really have many Christmas presents to knit. So I'll just knit a whole buncha stuff for my own personal edification.

Which translates to: Lauren, Stacey, Nancy, Linda, Molly, Laurie - expect a shitload of fuzzy scarves... ;-)

So how exactly will I work my way back to physical and mental health? Hell if I knew the answer to that, I'd be making more money than Tony Robbins. I guess I'll have the time to think about it, though. I know I have to get back to doing things I enjoy, and knitting is one of them.

Just got the Vickie Howell (Knitty Gritty on DYI! Watch it now!) book, New Knits on the Block. Cute kids knits, I'll try my hand at some of those. There is a guitar pillow pattern I've got to try.

Ah, Duran Duran. Lord, I hope they follow up Astronaut with some more goodness. Just listening to "Nice" off the Astronaut CD now, what a fun song. I've been skipping any down songs tonight (but I did allow myself "The Show Must Go On" and "Who Wants to Live Forever" by Queen - it's Freddie Mercury, for heaven's sake), need something with a beat to keep me going.

I'm off to check GoFugYourself to see if any new tragically dressed celebrity pictures have surfaced. Maybe I'll post something else on Domestic Goddesses. Or maybe I'll just sit the hell down and knit.

Keep Yourself Alive...

So now I'm officially unemployed. I'm medicating with a bag of lime-flavored Tostitos, cherry-limeade, and listening to Queen on MusicMatch Jukebox. Tomorrow morning, I'll deal. Tonight, I'm just going to let myself be numb and scared and after all that, relieved.

I'm heading over to Domestic Goddesses to post some recipes, I've been remiss. Check it out - especially since I'll be finally kicking in with my healthy eating habits and posting some recipes. Guess eventually I'll get around to some holiday ideas too.

Post 'em if you got 'em! weecook.blogspot.com

Guiltless Blogging!

Chris decided to launch his blog, Guiltless Pleasures, exhorting us all to be free with our formerly dirty little secrets - my Judge Judy viewership is no longer in the closet! Check it out at guiltlesspleasures.blogspot.com, link is on the right.

One of these days, I'll get Mike to actually start a blog... wow, I almost made it through that sentence without snorting. Maybe I can at least get him to guest post here.

Finished off two reader reports last night. If you've never heard of Christopher Moore, go to a bookstore or library right now and familiarize yourself. I recommend "Lamb: The Gospel According to Bigg, Christ's Childhood Pal". He is hilarious. I just finished the reader report for his upcoming "A Dirty Job" which, if you're a fan of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett like I am, you will truly appreciate. It won't be out until April '06, so I don't want to divulge too much here. But it is a great book. So read his stuff now , so you won't look like a bandwagon jumper by April.

Then there was "Tom Brown Saves the World", which I read for my beloved ISO. As I said in my reader report, I'm begging my IQ not to hold it against me. Twenty-something slacker husgband is bored with his life, wishes he was a rock star. Martians use a snowboarding accident to insert him into a parallel reality where he ends up touring with a queer punk band. It only gets more bizarre from there. I get that the author was making a statement about selling out, about how we're such a materialistic society and controlled by advertising and the media, but this book was ALL over the place. My head hurt for about an hour afterward. There's so much better stuff out there!

Preparing for the 'big day' today - loaded my MP3 player up with lots of Duran Duran, Yaz, Depeche Mode, Eurythmics - basically, nothing after 1987 (except for the new Duran CD). Told Stephan, the Parents' Association Pres at PS 139 that I'll see him Monday... and Tuesday, and Wednesday... we laughed. I'm terrified but hopeful. Hopefully things will cook up and happen. Gotta make my own luck and I'm trying to just see all of this as leading somewhere good. Sometimes you have to get cut by a few thorns and run through a few thickets to get to the better place.

A friend of mine from PS 139 gave me two lottery tickets this morning. Sometimes, people don't suck nearly as much as you think. At least, the ones you get to know.

Stuck to program nicely this morning. English muffin (lite, whole grain - 1 point) with some of that yummy honey Country Crock spread (2 points). Cup of soy milk (3 points). Now I'm off for more coffee.

Off to one of my last meetings, I guess.

Fun

I just posted some pictures of the boys from Halloween. Who knew vampires could be so cute, right?

A friend of mine posted this on her blog, so I'm shamelessly stealing it. Go to Google, type your name and needs - i.e., 'Rosemary needs' in my case - and see what comes up. Here's a list of what I apparently need...

1. Rosemary needs shield from cold. (how'd they know?)

2. Rosemary needs to be spayed! (um... WHAT?!)

3. To be happy and healthy, Rosemary needs at least 5-6 hours of sun a day.

4. Rosemary needs full sun to partial shade, and a well drained area. (Well... I do drink a lot of coffee...)

5. Rosemary needs bright sun. (I think that was determined at #3.)

6. Once you understand Rosemary's needs, she can be a long-lived companion. (LOL, have to send this to Mike.)

A vampire with a snazzy attitude! A vampire bat hovering in the background!

Booooooo!!

It's My Pity Party, and I'll Cry if I Want To...

So I've jumped off the bridge and begun the resignation process. By next week, neither of us will be working and I'll have only one more paycheck to come. To say I'm terrified is putting it mildly, but it's better than wanting to get hit by a car on the way to work. Looks like I'll be putting in some temp time.

How the hell did we get here?

So I dealt with it in the best way I could last night, and ate a shitload of Halloween candy. Today I'm back on track, and trying to just wrap it up here and make some plans for the very uncertain future. I'm praying for the Deux Ex Machina to show up, but something tells me it may show up late if at all, so we're on our own.

Can't let the kids know anything is wrong.

I can temp. I will keep doing reader reports as long as they send them to me. I'll keep sending out my resume. Maybe this latest recruiter can get something for Mike.

I'm caught between wanting to just lose it and go on a screaming tear and just being very calm, detached to the point of being dead. I feel so exhausted and worn out, I just don't know how to react anymore.

Identify! (imagine Logan's Run computer voice here)

Due to the unholy amount of spam comments I've been getting on here, I've turned on the verification button. I'm sorry, I know it's a pain in the rear, but if I see one more stupid comment about how I can get free prescription drugs or some other crap, I'll go postal. And if you've read the last few posts from me, you know what a tenuous grasp on reality I have these days. I'll be turning this on at the Domestic Goddesses blog too.

You spammers all suck.

In other news, I've resigned. Expect more manic posts as I search for a job over the next few weeks.

Outlet

So the stupid CD player in the living room wasn't working. I tried to turn it off and walk away, really I did. But it wouldn't even turn off, and the CD drawer kept popping out like it was some sentient Stephen King creation. So I got a hammer (it was a little one) and tried to close it that way.

Do you believe that SOB popped out again?

But at least it felt good hitting it...

Another crazy day. Lot of stuff going on, not sure how this is all going to play out. I'm a little scared.

Rita Skeeter & Mad Eye Moody

McGonagall & Tonks

So if you read my first post, the Hogwarts Halloween Prophet edition, you know that I have way too much time on my hands at work. :-)

Anyway - the party was so much fun. It was great to get out and be around friends and just laugh for a while. Mike glued my McGonnagall glasses to my cat mask with Krazy Glue right before we left, and the fumes from the glue were making my eyes tear. It was pretty funny, and Stacey kept telling me to take the glasses off, but I went outside for a while and let the air get to me. Stacey emphasized the importance of hot glue guns in situations such as these. She is the master crafter, I am but the learner.

Everyone put so much work into their costumes, and we just had a great time. Stacey and Rita as Tonks and Rita Skeeter had the greatest costumes, as you can see above. I loved Linda's Mrs. Weasley outfit, complete with apron and clock. I thought everyone looked great, though - even the Muggles. ;-) Mike's Muggle costume consisted of a t-shirt that said, "This is my costume," and his black jeans. Very exciting.

More pictures to come.

Would you let this faculty teach your children? - The Daily Prophet, Halloween Edition

The Hogwarts Halloween party was a blast. Muggles and the creme de la creme of wizarding society mixed freely as a Dementor served drinks at the bar; Tonks zapped the unsuspecting with her light-up wand; and someone even brought the portrait of Mrs. Black, who spent her evening screaming at 'filthy mudbloods and Muggles'. What a great time.

Mad-Eye Moody showed up with Rita - who ever thought the wizarding world would have seen a combination like that? We've heard that the Dementor in residence is in fact secretly romantically involved with Luna Lovegood - can you imagine that relationship? What fodder for future Prophet pages!. Mrs. Molly Weasley showed up on Hagrid's arm, so I guess all isn't going well for Mr. Weasley over at the Ministry. Harry and Hermione showed up together, so I guess Ron's out of the picture for now. Those poor Weasley boys, unlucky in love! Narcissa Malfoy and Remus also seem to be coupling - go figure! Tonks seemed remarkably okay, showing up in the company of the Sorting Hat - or maybe Tonks has just been pushed off the deep end.

Sometime during the evening, the Dark Mark appeared on an unsuspecting gourd - I personally lay the blame at Professor Snape's door. I mean, that whole horrible Dumbledore business went unmentioned that night, but we all have our suspicions.

I'm sure more news will be following from this gathering - stay posted!

Meltdown

I feel like an episode of Breaking Bonaduce. When the hell do things start to look up?

I think if I were really able to just let loose with one primal scream and maybe break a chair or two, I'd feel a lot better. My id is just straining to be let loose. I'm tired of crying at my desk, I want to have one Godzilla-like rampage and then, at least in my mind right now, I'll be okay.

Slim-Fast tastes good but the concept of it sucks. I want a frickin' English Muffin for breakfast. I want to chew. And the fact that for the past two nights, I've snarfed down two bags of fruit snacks must mean this isn't helping.

I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. But I'm so drained that I just sit on the couch, staying up way too late because I'm trying to fight the coming of the next day. And eat. Even when I'm not hungry. I journal for a half day if I'm lucky.

Where is the spark I had? When I used to wake up and be inside at 6:58, waiting for Denise Austin to start my day off with some "energizing yoga"? The days where I would bring an apple with me to an office birthday party because I didn't eat cake?

I hate that I've been whining like such a damned victim lately. This isn't me. But I also feel so down, so low, so helpless to stop it. I hate having to cry to my friends, so I do it here. Yeah, my friends read this, but it's just easier to be happier when we're together in person than sit and be this person who's so NOT me and suck the life out of our gatherings. I'm angry at myself for being so depressed but feel helpless to do much about it right now.

It's all I can do to not let it show in front of the kids. And I don't think I'm being terribly convincing, especially where Will's concerned. Dammit.

I haven't picked up my knitting needles or my beading stuff in days. I haven't touched my sewing machine in an age. I'm atrophying.

Why can't I just get mad?

Sigh.

Rosemary and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

I hate everyone and everything. I am combining PMS with a Slim-Fast desperation diet. That in and of itself should be a sign of the apocalypse.

I'm going through a lot of shit right now. I've just had words with my mom, who is also going through a lot of shit right now. She tells me that "things have to get better." I personally say, "fuck that." I want someone to be as fucking angry as I am, and to wonder with me when the fuck things are going to turn around. I don't want anyone to tell me 'it HAS to get better' because right now, in my heart, it's not going to. And I need to feel and work through the rage. And right now, when I really don't think I can possibly feel more alone, I need to be able to put all the unspeakable feelings I have into words. And those words are, "I want to get hit by a bus because if I off myself, insurance won't pay for it." That is how I describe how I feel. Am I going to step out into the middle of Houston Street and Broadway on a red light? What are you, fucking nuts? But to say it gets it off my chest, where it could fester like the bronchitis I'm also on Zithromax for right now.

So let's review - I'm not talking to my mother, I'm disgusted with all the recruiters that swear to Mike he is a shoo-in for the jobs that keep falling through, and I don't want to lean on my friends, who all have their own issues to deal with. I wish I could just crawl into a fucking hole with my kids and wait for all this shit to blow over.

I have cried every day on the way to work since my second day - and I cried on the way home from work on my first. Every morning, I stand to the side of the building and just steel myself before I can walk into the doors. And then as I wait for the elevator, I feel my shoulders slouch as I take on the surrendering pose. I'm still applying to jobs, but of course, no interviews.

I say fuck a lot now.

Did I mention that I wisely chose this week to start my diet of desperation? I'm into day three on Slim-Fast. Would you like to shoot me in the fucking eye or should I do the honor myself?
My neurologist took one look at me and said, "You need to defuse. What's going on in your life?" So my neurologist became my therapist, because my therapist only has office hours in my neighborhood once a week - and my insurance co-pay with this shitass plan is $75 a visit - which would require me to need even more fucking therapy. So I'm on my seizure meds for at least another year. She told me to call her in a year for my next checkup and we'll discuss.

I won't even go into the mess that my mom is dealing with when it comes to my stepdad.

I went to the doctor yesterday and he took my blood pressure. He pronounced it normal. I had him take it again because I couldn't believe it wasn't through the ceiling.

I think I need to go cry in the bathroom again, and await the arrival of the fucking locusts.

Bleah.

Lousy mood today. The weather doesn't help.

Augh... knitting issues...

Elizabeth's birthday is today, and I still haven't finished that blanket. Need yarn for it. Grrr. But I do have a fun purple scarf I knitted out of funky Boa yarn, so I'll give her that. I also got this Knifty Knitter knitting loom for her, which she should like. It's a pack of four different sized looms with spokes - it's kind of like spool knitting, actually - and she can wind the yarn around it, and use a special hook to pull the yarn over the spokes and knit that way. She's only 9 and she's high-functioning autistic, so I think this will be excellent physical therapy for her without the stress of not being able to get in sync with actual knitting yet (it took me 2 weeks just to learn how to cast on, and let's not talk about the knitting needles I bent in frustration along the way).

I still have to get back on track with that sweater that got all bizarre on me. I have to hunt down my old knitting guru's e-mail address and ask her.

Maybe I should just go back to knitting potholders... :-)

The MP3 Player is a truly wondrous invention!

So in a further illustration of how sadly hermit-like I've become, my mom bequeathed to me her 'old' MP3 player - she's upgraded. So I have finally stepped a baby toe into the new milennium and have an MP3 player. No iPod, but still quite adorable and tiny. I proceeded to scour the Internet for free MP3 downloads, since well... I'm cheap, okay? Anyway, I ended up mainly pulling songs off my CDs (okay - so Mike did, but I learned how to do it and can do it all by myself now) but I did get the new Depeche Mode single, 'Precious', and another new song, 'John the Revelator', off one site. Fantastic stuff, I can't wait to get the CD. I think I like 'John the Revelator' better than 'Precious', but they're both good.

Spent a half hour trying to figure out how to get Madonna's new one off her site. I forget, she doesn't give anything away for free anymore. Humbug. But the song is really good. I mortified my 6-year old by dancing in the living room the other night. Love that, especially when his 2-year old brother joined me.

Sticking to Points, burning through my FlexPoints but hey - I'm journaling them. So I'm still cranky. Feh.

Didn't knit last night, but I did finish my reader report reasonably on time.

I hate this blasted cough.

I'm cranky and sick and sleepy.

I'm just in a mood where I want to bitch and complain. It's being sick meets PMS, which is just a bad, bad combination. I'm too tired and depressed because I'm too tired to work out but hate the way I look. I know what I have to do to get rid of these last post-baby pounds, but to do them seems like this herculean effort from where I sit right now.

I remember I loved working out, loved finding all these cool, healthy low-point foods. Now I feel like "screw it, pass the Oreos." It's such a fight. And I know it's because I've been so damned depressed and on this emotional roller coaster since the beginning of the year.

I tell my friends to fight it when they feel like this. I am the biggest sham, because I can't fight it when I get into this mode. So who the hell am I? I can talk the talk, but fail miserably at walking the walk.

Next mood swing: 5 minutes, step right up...

Whoops! I was remiss...

The last E.B. viewing of Orlando Bloom was in Troy, not as an elf. But then again, with Eric Bana and Brad Pitt on the screen in tiny leather skirts, can you fault me for forgetting?

Ugh... sick again...

So I'm sick again... love the beginning of the school year.

Friday night was a blast, met up with some of the girls for dinner (LOTS of hummus with pita) and a showing of Elizabethtown, which was much better than I thought it would be. I'm not normally one for chick flicks, but the Estrogen Brigade needed an Orlando Bloom viewing (the last E.B. Bloom viewing was while he was elflike), so I went and had a great time. It was very funny, and I expect Stacey, Lauren and I to be muttering "Lovin' 24/7!" for a long time to come.

Of course, no evening out would be complete unless there were issues with the trains. At midnight. When I had to be awake and at Queens College for a conference at 9 the next morning. Nicole, Lauren and I finally got into Queens at almost 2 a.m., and I finally collapsed into bed a little after 2. But it was worth it, it was so much fun to get out.

Made it to the conference, a quick pilgrimage into Jersey to see Mom (which turned into an over night), and by Sunday I was full-blown sick. Sigh. Stayed in bed whiny and cranky yesterday, but I'm back in the land of the almost-living today.

I journaled all day yesterday - used only 7 flexpoints, which is incredible for me, especially when I'm sick and in full entitlement mode. You know - "I'm sick, so I am perfectly justified in eating this entire sleeve of Oreo's." Today, I've been pretty good - even journaled the 1/2 danish I had at my boss' birthday party. Six points - so much to throw away on something finished so quickly... but I journaled it. Blast it all. I am not turning 35 at this weight, and I am not giving away all my cute sundresses that I bought at the Ann Taylor Factory Outlet a couple of years ago. I can look good after two pregnancies, dammit!

I ripped out part of the wrap-around sweater I was working on - the directions just freaked me out. So I ripped down to just before the crazy shaping begins, and I think I'm going to enlist my old knitting teacher's help. So I'll post pictures shortly. The back is done, I'm working on the left front. It was going along just fine until the directions call for shaping one side on a slant - no problem - but the other side needed to be shaped according to the back's instructions, and I think things just got way out of hand because it started to resemble a pyramid of sorts. I was proud that I didn't freak out, rip the whole bloody thing out and bury my yarn as I have in times past. I must be maturing.

Still working on Elizabeth's blanket, but I need to get another skein of yarn to finish the last few panels and start stitching together. Maybe I'll run out at lunch and see if that store past Canal has the yarn I need.

I successfully beaded my first project yesterday! I strung faux pearls onto wire, used a ribbon to close the loops. It's simple but hey, it was my first project. I'll post a shot of that, too. Probably going to be part of my mother-in-law's Christmas gift.

So last night, I wanted to knit but something with no pressure, since I was hopped up on cold meds and waiting for the NyQuil to hit. I started yet another of my mini-sweaters. I got halfway through before I felt fuzzy and knew the NyQuil was calling me to my bed.

I've got lots of pictures I need to post before bed tonight...

I need coffee. See ya.

Mmmmm... Brownies...

Linda and I have been blogging back and forth about how we need to take a baking or cooking class at the Culinary Institute, so now I'm in the mood for brownies. Then she mentions that, since the bunch of us like to cook and bake so much, we should create a blog to share recipes on.

Voila! Since it is Friday and I'd rather elect for dental surgery than continue doing the mind-numbing work for which I collect a paycheck (for the time being), we now have a blog - Domestic Goddesses at weecook.blogspot.com. Stacey, Linda, Lauren, and Nancy are all part of the gang, so you can expect posts from folks other than just yours truly. Having sampled each lady's culinary fare, I can safely say that there are going to be some good recipes up there - and maybe, just maybe, some play-by-play of each week's Iron Chef America (a very UN-guilty pleasure of mine!) if I have enough coffee coursing through my system.

Good Christ, it's only 3:16 p.m. Are the clocks broken? Perhaps daylight savings time has kicked in without my knowledge and I've actually lost an hour? I've gotta stop taking lunch at noon.

Weight Watchers - still trying to get the last 20 pounds off. It would be so nice to have a choice of clothing in my closet again.

So I started out GREAT this morning. Had my healthy yogurt kefir drink this morning (3 points), my coffee with creamer (2 flex points), and my bowl of frosted mini wheats (a girl needs some enjoyment in life) with a splash of skim milk (3 points).

And then I go to lunch. Japanese. Not too shabby - chicken teriyaki (6 points), 1/2 cup of rice (3 points). 3 spring rolls (gotta look that up, but I expect it ain't so pretty).

And now I'm going to Penelope with some of the girls tonight. There is macaroni and cheese to be had at Penelope. Sigh... tally up the flexpoints...

I'm getting this weight off. Maybe if I blog more about it, it'll happen. But I can't turn 35 and still be 1-2 sizes over what I 'should' be. I just have to break out of this funk I'm in. I've broken out of the knitting funk, now I have to get out of this one. Baby steps, baby steps.

I think having my friends and I blog each other has been a huge step out of the dark for me, like a helpful hand pulling me through. Sometimes, I just get lost for a little while. I get like a kid, where I just need to rest and then be guided again. Hopefully it won't be for much longer. But I do appreciate it when it's here.

Ugh... wet...

So... get to school tonight and it's pouring rain, and the doors to the building are locked. Apparently, since my class is in the Hebrew Building at NYU, the building is closed at sundown for Yom Kippur. Did they have the brains to post a sign for their shiska students that informed us of this? Of course not. We waited around for someone to show up and confirm what we had started to discuss among ourselves. My instructor came from Connecticut for this class, so she was mighty thrilled...

So I sloshed down to the train station at West 4th and came home. Soaked. On an air-conditioned train. Grrr. But there was chicken with black bean sauce and brown rice to be had when I got home, so my belly is warm and happy.

I was so happy that there was such lively conversation about my favorite TV show moments (of the moment, since there are way too many once I start thinking), that I'm going to put another one out there - what are your TV guilty pleasures? I know most of my friends are hip to my sad Judge Judy obsession (I record it every day so I don't miss it - love Time Warner and their magical DVR button), so that's my major one. But alas, there is more than Judge Judy in my television closet.

I have to see every episode of My Fair Brady on VH-1. I can't help it. The Surreal Life with that whole bunch was a car wreck begging to be observed. Omarosa versus Janice Dickinson? Please, don't bore me. You throw Chyna into a mix that includes Mini Me, Jane Wiedlin, a renegade Brady and some annoying rap chick among other goodies, we had the makings of TV history. I have never seen an episode of America's Next Top Model in my life and have no intention on ever doing so, but the Adrianne Curry/Christopher Knight thing was insane. The show is so horrible it's awesome.

Okay, I've shared my dark secret with you - your turn.

Bloggersations!

Definition - when you no longer converse with your friends via telephone, human contact, or even e-mail, but through posting on each other's blogs. ;-)

Linda is in a snit over Gilmore Girls, and Stacey has joined in. Alas, I can do naught but stare dumbly at the computer screen. I have to wait until the new season of 24 starts before I go apopleptic. My poor husband and friends are all too familiar with my ranting and raving as those damned digital numbers flash at the end of every episode, leaving me hanging yet again.

But Stacey brought up a really good point (Stacey, pardon me while I paraphrase): we really relate to what we see played out on the screen and the older we get, the more life experience we gain, the more we end up relating to these different characters and their situations.

So in the spirit of the above statement, here are the top 5 shows/episodes that caused the biggest emotional reactions (moved me either to tears, laughter, insanity, or both):

1) Six Feet Under - All Alone
I've blogged about this one already. Nate's funeral episode on Six Feet Under left me an emotional wreck. Anything that involves mothers and children, especially sons, is going to destroy me to begin with, but this episode was just brutal. Ruth washing her dead son's head, taking care around the scars, just lost me. I stared at my sleeping kids for a long time that night.

2) 24 - Season 2, 5 - 6 p.m.
Holy crap, when Marie shoots Reza and I realized that this sweet little All-American girl is the one aiding the terrorists, and those damned digital numbers came up at me, Mike thought I was going to have premature labor. I lost my mind.

3) Sex & The City - The Post-It Always Sticks Twice
The episode before ended with Berger breaking up with Carrie on a Post-It note. "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me." This is the aftermath, and it's damned funny. The dialogue between Carrie and Berger's friends at the club, Bed, is a must-see for any woman who's ever been single and dissed. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cringe with recognition.

4) Sex & The City - An American Girl in Paris (Part Deux)
Come on - it's got everything all wrapped up. Everyone wins here, and it just feels nice. And you find out Big's name!

5) Battlestar Galactica (the new one), Kobol's Last Gleaming
First off - I am all about old school BSG. I have the Cylon head original series box set and my original Moffet the Daggit action figure. I have the books Richard Hatch co-wrote with Christopher Golden. But here, I am talking about the new series, which Mike finally browbeat me into watching - and I instantly became hooked. The season one finale has Sharon (the new Boomer - apologies to Herb Jefferson Jr.!) firing her weapon into Adama falling onto a console and bleeding all over it and Apollo (Lee Adama) crying out, "Someone get a doctor. Get Doc Cottle! Oh, dad..." Fade to black. Begin Rosemary's screaming fit.

TIE: Six Feet Under - The Room/The Trip
In The Room, A widower takes up residence in the Fisher funeral home to make sure his wife's funeral is done right. At the end, he is discovered still next to her casket, and he's gone. He died right next to her.

The Trip - the 'corpse of the week' this time is a baby who dies of SIDS. David is trying to comfort the parents during their intake and says that a funeral is a good way of helping the family say goodbye. The baby's mother says, "I don't want to say goodbye - he just got here." When I could finally collect myself enough to stand, I poked both my sleeping kids just to make sure. A lot.

Those are the ones that come to mind first, but I'd love to hear yours. Post 'em!

What is Better?

...to remain in a job where you're miserable, but receiving a paycheck and health insurance for your family, or take a gamble, leave the job, and pray something else works out?

I just don't know if it's worth getting out of bed anymore. I'm so miserable.

Sick

I'm home sick today. Yuck. Sore throats suck.

I did, however, decide to attempt a crochet project, so I'm working on a beginner's hat from an old issue of Crochet magazine. So far, so good. If it doesn't make a convincing hat, I believe I have a future in handmade coasters.

Bleagh. I've had two cups of tea and still I feel like I've got a dull ache in my throat. This stinks. I think the same cold is going around, Will was home sick yesterday with it and Alex's nose is running like a faucet today. Mike has had the same blasted cough for weeks, so I blame it all on him. :-)

I'm going to stop zoning out on the computer and play blocks with Alex. He looks like he's having fun.

So here is the blanket-in-progress. These are 8 of the 16 (so far) panels that the pattern calls for. Somehow, I think I'll need to knit more than 16 for a 9-year old girl.

I joined Crafster.org instead of just lurking all the time. There are some kickin' projects up there! Now, I just need unlimited time and resources... but hopefully, since I'm also in the process of rediscovering my sewing machine, I'm going to check and see if I can find a couple of 'sewing for BIG dummies'-type patterns. Crafster is a great site for hip and funky crafts, you should check it out. I've linked to them over in the links section to the right. The message boards rock, and everyone is very supportive.

So I'm knitting away on this blanket - man, it's a lot of knitting. I have put myself to sleep a couple of times. I am at the stage where it's "okay, this was fun, can we finish this now so I can find another project?" But it did pull me out of the knitting funk. And I'm committed, having promised this to my cousin for her 9th birthday.

Sewing - if anyone knows a really, really simple pattern, please send it my way. I've made two pillowcases (with very cool Star Wars material - I'll take pictures) for Will (no, not for me - yet). I bought more Star Wars material (yes, for Will) and some DragonTales material for Alex, but I'd like to try something a little more exciting. Yes, I'm putting the cart before the horse again. Hey, that's me.

By the way - can I tell you how much I HATE the subway? I sat at 57th Street for half an hour tonight. There was either a track fire or a switching problem - one conductor said one, another said the other - you think they'd at least coordinate their B.S. excuses. Anyway, got lots of work done on the latest panel. If I didn't have my knitting, I probably would have gone postal, being the throes of a horrible PMS time of the week.

So let me go and post the other shot of this blanket, an individual pattern swatch. Stay tuned.

Heeeeeere's the panel.

It's a seed stitch diamond on a field of stockinette... doesn't that sound so dreamy?

Holy cow, it's been a long time since I updated.

I just checked in to Stacey's bridal blog, and I realize she's had like three new posts since I last looked - I have been seriously remiss.

I feel like I've just shrunk from public view over the past few weeks. The new job didn't turn out to be what I wanted it to be; my stepdad has been in pretty bad shape for over a month now; there have been some other random acts of insanity that have come up, and basically I just withdrew, like I always do. If it weren't for Will starting school, I probably would still be like that. But seeing all the parents that I became friendly with again, and getting back into the swing of things with Will and the school helped me start coming back. So here I am, making amends one more time. So to all that I may have been blowing off, I'm sorry.

Knitting, knitting, knitting - finally started climbing out of the knitting funk and found a relatively easy but interesting blanket pattern. I'm making it for my cousin Elizabeth's 9th birthday and will post a picture shortly. It's with purple leftover Bernat Baby Yarn and it's a seed stitch diamond on a field of stockinette. There are 16 panels in the original pattern; I may add another row or two more so it will fit a 9 year old, depending on what the blanket looks like (the beauty of blankets is that I don't normally have to worry about gauge!). I took some pictures of it in progress the other night, but haven't unloaded my camera yet (so very lazy) so as soon as I do, I'll post the shots in progress.

Trying desperately to get back into the weight loss groove. Tired of being double digit sized clothing, dammit. I started coming up with a menu the night before; it worked once and really helped me see exactly what I'm eating and can do away with. I haven't logged onto the Self site in ages, tired of logging in all my calories and fat grams and seeing that my diet sucks.

So I'm up and down, but hopefully closer to the upswing.

So, lots to catch up on...

Still having yarn issues, so no projects to post. I tried a wavy rib knit, but I think the yarn may be wrong for it because it's looking rather sad. Anyway.

So - my fare-thee-well party was great, but SO sad. These are people I've spent six years with... it was totally like high school graduation. I am happy to say that I've been in touch with everyone at the table. They've been my lifeline, especially adjusting to my new surroundings. Guys, I love and miss all of you!

The new job is good. Scary the first week, culture shock usually is. But the second week started evening out. And I'm bringing home obscene amounts of kids' books, so I'm a celebrity to my boys, at least.

Grrr... knitting plateau...

I finished the blanket for Alicia's wee one (the Snowy Owl!) but am so frustrated. Lately, all I can do are scarves and blankets. I can't swatch up for my life, and tossed half a sweater in frustration the other day. What is this all about? My fingers are itching to knit, but I just rip everything out in frustration. None of the yarn I have seems to be right for a project, everything seems to be the wrong gauge. I was knitting to deal with stress and now it's causing it.

Not in a great place lately.

Simply add water and, voila! Instant Bride!

Our intrepid bride models a man-ped at Men's Warehouse in Grand Rapids...

All right, off to yoga myself into a sleep-induced coma. Perhaps my abs will sculpt themselves as I slumber... more pictures to come...

The gruesome twosome. ;-)

Knitting Fever!

BTW - knitting away on this cute sweater vest from the first issue of Knit.1 mag - once I have a working scanner again, I can scan the pic. But I will post the sweater in progress, most likely tomorrow. In the meantime, here come the pictures...

So it's 12:09, I've finally got the kids to sleep - Mike had to drive upstate tonight to pick up his brother & friends and bring them back to College Point, so I was doing a double Mommy shift tonight. I watched the series finale of Six Feet Under, which I'm still digesting, especially the ending. Wow.

I know I should be working out, but instead I played Dynomite on popcap.com for a half hour. I need to do some yoga. So of course, being me, I decided to blog instead. And I wonder where Will gets the gift of procrastination from.

Alex's second birthday was yesterday, which really makes me freak at how quickly time flies. (Especially since I haven't shed the Alex weight yet!) He had a good day, I think. Lots of gifts, including Darth Tater from Adam & Stacey (which is really for me, I'd like to think).

First day at the new job today. I'm a little overwhelmed. I'm not used to having no idea what I'm doing, at least workwise. I know I just have to calm down and let myself get into the groove, but I missed ISO so much today. I missed my friends. I missed the familiarity that I had, even on the horrible days.

But I did register for my Book Marketing class at NYU - thank GOD. After this one, I've got only three more classes for the certificate. Finally starting to pick up where I left off three years ago. I'll see how I feel after this semester and decide whether or not to apply to grad school for spring, when I'll also be finishing the certificate up, or maybe just wait that one semester more and start in the fall when I can have the certificate done and can concentrate solely on the grad program.

Next up - gotta get the weight off. Gotta get back to eating right and working out. Just as soon as I post some more photos, she said in a procrastinating manner...

Is this a fun-loving bridal party or what? (Maybe you shouldn't answer that...)

A quick post now, more to come. The wedding was so much fun, everyone had a blast. I'll post one picture now and more to come later when I get the kids to bed and have some downtime. Was not thrilled to come back to the hellishness of New York in August. Ugh.

It's muggy out...

And I'm sitting here at my desk, in an air conditioned office, sticky. Eyuck.

So, finally watched the funeral on Six Feet Under last night. My God, what an episode. I was just telling a friend of mine that Michael C. Hall (David) and Frances Fisher (Ruth) should get an Emmy, he was amazing. I think the most powerful scene to me was when David and Ruth are bathing Nate's body. Ruth joins David and starts washing Nate's head, so lovingly and gently washing the scar on his head. It's such a maternal act, and I wanted to rush in to hug my two boys (ages 6 and 2). It was so painful and loving at the same time, I was moved to tears. And then, when they lower Nate's body into the ground and are covering it with dirt, David just breaks and everyone moves to help him. It was amazing. So cathartic. I can't imagine what they're going to do for the final two episodes.

Okay, and here's the second post:
8/7/05
So I've been remiss, sorry 'bout that. Lots going on and at the same time, just want to zone out for hours on end. I hate when I get like that.Mike and I leave for Stacey and Adam's Michigan wedding bonanaza on Wednesday morning, so I'm psyched. Of course, neurotic me has been packed for like, two weeks. I just need to figure out what shoes I'm bringing, which gives Mike no end to amusement. The night before we leave, we're going to see Doubt - my friend Matt comped me two tickets. It will be nice to be grownups for five whole days. Lately, the only thing that's on the TV nonstop is either Cartoon Network (Will) or Noggin (Alex).

The Doodlebops (Disney, also Alex) are singing in my head all day long.

So, I gave notice on Tuesday. It's official, I'm leaving Bookspan. I accepted the official offer from Scholastic on Friday. Excited, terrified, hopeful... the whole mix of emotions. I want to be home more with the kids, but the flexibility I have right now came with a really high price. We'll just figure it all out as it happens, which drives me nuts because there is zero control of my life involved, but sometimes that's what has to be.I start school in September, so I'm psyched. Going to finish off that Publishing Certificate from NYU, and then I can concentrate on my MLS from Queens. I hate application essays. Bah. Feh.

On a less weighty note, got my manicure and pedicure with Nancy on Friday. I've got sparkly red toes. Hee hee.Must continue knitting, keeps the munchies at bay. I lost two pounds in two weeks so far - Annie now has a pretty purple cable-knit scarf, Will has two Star Wars pillowcases (love my sewing machine!), and I have two baby projects underway that I can't discuss right now in case the recipient is reading.Now I have to figure out how to post pictures. Soon to come...

Okay, so some bizarre glitch happened and I inadvertently created two blogs when I posted my pictures - don't ask me how, I don't know what the h ell I'm doing. So here, for your reading pleasure, are the first two posts:

8/1/05
So I decided to finally create a blog because I feel like the only person on earth who hasn't got one. If you've meandered on by, hi. Be kind if you comment, I hope I'll get better at this as I go on.Saw Duran Duran at Jones Beach last night. Amazing, they're still as good now as they were 20 (cough, cough) years ago. Did a lot of really obscure old stuff like Friends of Mine (opened with it) and Sound of Thunder. Went with Kris, my Durannie buddy since 1984. Hey, Kris! I know you're reading this! Thanks for the lift yesterday!Okay, so I'm expected to do some work. Right after I finish this big gulp o'coffee...Oh - check in later. Surprise bridal shower pics for Stacey coming soon. ;-)

Adam and his Boys 

Stacey's bridal shower posse 

Yes, Alex's shirt says, "StormPooper". 

The Bride and Groom 

Will and Alex sharing a moment of brotherly love at Nancy's.