Saturday, May 26, 2007

Family Project...

So I've decided, after cleaning out my closet (see the post on Domestic Goddesses here), I've of course let my tangential mind wander again. I've decided that my copious photo albums - I'm not exaggerating here, I've got a lot - are in danger somehow of falling victim to some sort of natural disaster, so I'm scanning the photos and burning them to disc. (Yes, I know the discs can fall prey to a natural disaster or unnatural disaster too, but at least I'm doubly covered.) Of course, this will probably take me until the rest of my natural life, but hey - I need things to do, right?

Aside from alternately marveling and being mortified at some of my own hair and fashion choices (not to mention some of my family's), it's becoming a nice trip down memory lane. I haven't looked through many of these photos in a long time, and it's nice to see my Nana and my Aunt Do again. I miss them a lot. My Nana is probably laughing herself silly every time I ask my mom for advice on sewing a straight seam or show her proudly my latest knitting adventure. Nana tried to teach my mom all of this stuff years ago, only to have my mom stare blankly at her, then burst into giggles. So at least somehow, the gene got passed on. Kinda.

Seeing pictures of my cousin Tim still ache. He died way too young; I was newly pregnant with Alex when he died, so I pressed down a lot of the grief and anger because keeping my body healthy for my baby was the most important thing. It's been four years, and I notice it's starting to leak out in dribs and drabs every now and then. For some reason, I can't let myself just let go and grieve. Maybe I'm not done being angry yet. Maybe I'm just used to shoving something down until it doesn't show. Maybe it's a lot of things, an amalgamation of everything. But I find myself scanning through pictures with me and Timmy a lot more quickly than I do any other ones.

No comments: