Wednesday, November 02, 2005

It's My Pity Party, and I'll Cry if I Want To...

So I've jumped off the bridge and begun the resignation process. By next week, neither of us will be working and I'll have only one more paycheck to come. To say I'm terrified is putting it mildly, but it's better than wanting to get hit by a car on the way to work. Looks like I'll be putting in some temp time.

How the hell did we get here?

So I dealt with it in the best way I could last night, and ate a shitload of Halloween candy. Today I'm back on track, and trying to just wrap it up here and make some plans for the very uncertain future. I'm praying for the Deux Ex Machina to show up, but something tells me it may show up late if at all, so we're on our own.

Can't let the kids know anything is wrong.

I can temp. I will keep doing reader reports as long as they send them to me. I'll keep sending out my resume. Maybe this latest recruiter can get something for Mike.

I'm caught between wanting to just lose it and go on a screaming tear and just being very calm, detached to the point of being dead. I feel so exhausted and worn out, I just don't know how to react anymore.


Stacey said...

You're going to be okay, you can't get unemployment can you?

Roe said...

I spoke with my boss yesterday - we agreed that she will 'let me go' as a mutual agreeance. I'll get two weeks' pay in lieu of two weeks' notice and I can file for unemployment. Scholastic will not contest the claim, but the Dept of Labor gets the final say.

Lauren said...

Well if there's one thing I know it's that it's hard to impress on a job interview when you don't feel good about yourself, and it's hard to feel good about yourself when you spend all day someplace you hate. So I think you did the right thing. Brave! :)

Roe said...

Thank you... right now I'm alternating between "brave" and "stupid".

But on the other hand, I'm hopeful because Kensington, a house whose books I'm familiar with through ISO and BEC, wants to meet with me regarding an Internet Marketing part-time spot. I'm tentatively meeting them on the 21st. That would be awesome, just to have that flexibility.

Scared but hopeful.

Blondie said...

Hey girl - it's been a long time! Sounds like you got a lot on your plate besides Halloween candy (and I've been eating shitloads too). Stay strong, it's scary but I think you'll find that even on unemployment you'll feel better than you ever could at job that makes you miserable.

Take care of you. xo

Jen (from WW)

Roe said...

Hey, Jen!

Love the blogs, I posted on yours. The J-Man is looking great, getting so big!

I only had a small freakout last night, where I consumed three small Snickers bars and one Laffy Taffy. I cried it out. Trying again today...

Getting back on program sucks.